641. / Abyss

There is a dark hole and I'm getting closer and closer. An abyss opened next to me and I'm walking right on the edge. How long untill I fall? How long untill I give up and leave the path that goes past it? In the abyss is fear and I want to escape but I can't like it a dream when you're paralyzed and you can't move. Can't get away, getting closer, soon I won't be here anymore because I am dead, not physicaly but my soul my mind, just gone.

© Ririfrog

640. / surgery

I'm shortly before my third surgery. It's never been easy but it's getting harder and harder. I can't stop thinking and worrying about it. I am so scared but I can’t tell anyone because that would make it even worse. I feel like I have to be the strong one for you. I know you are scared but I am too and actually, I hoped that having a boyfriend who goes through all of this with me would help and make it easier. Well, so now I stay strong and try to do my best. Whatever, I am still scared I hope it’s gonna work out.

© Ririfrog

639. / Old Blog

Well well, my old blog doesn't work, again!

For those who are interested what was going on in the mean time, check this out.

Enjoy my blogs.

XOXO ririfrog

629. / Old Blog

Score, I got my old blog back

http://www.blog1.de/blahblahblah

If that doesn't work anymore, I'll come back
but in the mean time:
See you there!

628. / EC

Haha, I just got the "latest" news
1. EC doesn't exist anymore, they broke up
By the way, it was JonasBrothers who broke up
How fun ;)
2. Q's parents broke up too.

Well I guess I should be sorry, but I can't.
Haha I just think it's fun because they were so big-headed
and they always thought they're the best.

627. / Idiot

What a fucking Idiot.
Can't he just shut the fuck up?
He has nothing to say and he's not funny at all
But he think's he's the best
Well what ever

Just that you know:
Even though I liked you once
I hate you you fuckin big-headed wanna be

626. / Forgiveness

I try to block it out
I try to push it away
I try to repress the memory

But still there is an unbelieveable sadness
And my heart gets ripped apart
Everytime I think of you

I never got the chance to say good bye
I never had moments to cry
I had to be strong, show that I'm tough
But the only thing I wanted is saying good bye

I never got to tell you that I'm sorry
For everything I did in all these years
Now I want to ask you for forgiveness
But you're gone and you won't come back

I never had a chance to say thank you one last time
Even though you were the most generous person
Your last thought of me must be that I was gone
And I fear so much that you hate me for that

I would like to let go
But I don't even feel worthy enough to say your name
I hope I dind't forgett too much, I wanted to tell you
And I hope you can accept these words wherever you are

If you ever get a chance to read or hear my thoughts
I just want you to know I love and miss you

625. / cry

I cry every fuckin night
Trying to fall asleep
Thinking of you and me
Crying

What might I have done?
Do you still love me?
What role do your new friends play in this whole situation?
And many more questions

You changed, you know
I don't know what happened but I think part of the love is gone
My trust is gone but also my jealousy
Slowly it starts feeling all numb

It makes me doubt if
This is still the right thing
Or if it's not what it used to be
Should we continue?
Actually, I can't much longer
Not one more week crying myself to sleep
Something has to change

I don't know what to do...

624. / Bitch

Hey bitch, you really have to brag about it all the time?
I don't need to hear it one more time, it's just enough.
I know you're the better twin and everyone love you
But that doesn't give you the right to make yourself even better
And put others down

623. / Gotcha

Sure, it's okey, I gotcha.
Not returning calls
Or even answering messages
Not even thinking about me
And What I would feel
Or what I would think
About what you do with your friends
You just lost your interest...
Well, it's not alright
But I just have to handle it
It's just sad about the vacation
I was really excited about everything
Now it feels like something's tearing me apart
There's this pain in my chest
Like someone ripped it open
But there's nothing left to do
I would not beg you
Or ask you

I'm scared of falling apart

I'm scared

622. / pissed?

Okay, now I'm really pissed, or sad. I just don't get what it's all about. You hanging around with others doing things you refused to do with me. I mean, do you really want to make a fool out of me? My ass! I just don't get why. And now I can't concentrate because I have to think of it all the time. My only thought is, what did I do wrong? I just don't get it. I hope you'll tell me why.

621./ Fairytales

You know fairytales don't come true
Not when it comes to you

But you are really too naive

you just need to stop to believe

Girl, you live in a dream

Don't you see it's all just steam?

© by Riri

620./ Illusions

Sometimes I feel like S

Just without the part of:

... being beautiful

... being famous

... being popular

We spent half a year somewhere else

Then we come back

Full of illusions about how great it will be

And pretty much all the illusions get destroyed

By finding out that people don't care about you

© by Riri

619./ Better

Trying to be a better person

Doesn't make people to love you more...

... or love you at all

© by Riri

618./ Traditon

I  have new traditions now

They're not traditions if they're new..

at least S knows how it feels to be forgotten

© by Riri

617./ Smile

There's this smile on my face

But does it really hide

What's behind it all?

© by Riri

616./ Love

I love you <3

© by Riri

615./ Blub

Blub?

© by Riri

614./ Old Blog - New Blog

Well well, my old blog's not working anymore, so I got a new one.
I hope you enjoy it...

If anyone wants to read the old one, just check: blahblahblah

© by Riri